Teacher and Girl
A teacher is explaining biology to her 4th grade students. “Human beings are the only animals that stutter”, she says.
A little girl raises her hand: “I had a kitty-cat who stuttered”, she volunteers.
The teacher, knowing how precious some of these stories could become, asks the girl to describe the incident.
“Well”, she begins, ‘I was in the backyard with my kitty and the Rottweiler that lives next door got a running start and before we knew it, he jumped over the fence into our yard!
“That must have been scary”, the teacher says.
“It sure was”, the little girl replies. “My kitty raised his back, went ‘Fffff, Fffff, Fffff’… And before he could say ‘ f**k’, the Rottweiler ate him!”
A Cajun named, Jean Paul, moved to Texas and bought a donkey from an old farmer named Ben for $100. The farmer agreed to deliver the donkey the next day.
The next day, Ben drove up and said, “Sorry, but I have some bad news. The donkey died.”
“Well, then, just give me the money back,” said Jean Paul
“Can’t do that. I went and spent it already.” Replied Ben
“OK, then. Just unload the donkey,” said Jean Paul.
“What ya going to do with him?” asked Ben.
“I’m going to raffle him off,” said Jean Paul.
“You can’t raffle off a dead donkey!” uttered Ben.
“Sure can. Watch me. I just won’t tell that he’s dead,” said Jean Paul.
A month later Ben met up with the Cajun and asked, “What happened with that dead donkey?”
“I raffled him off, I did. I sold 500-hunderd tickets at two dollars apiece and made a profit of $898,” said Jean Paul.
“Didn’t anyone complain?” inquired Ben.
“Just the guy who won. So I gave him his two dollars back, said Jean Paul.